I am almost one month into being a mom. The past 3 1/2 weeks have been the best and hardest days of my life. John and I prayed for these little ones for years, and I am so thankful they are here. But having twins is hard work. Let me tell you our birth story and where we have been since then.
I always knew I was going to carry these boys far into mid-August. Despite everyone telling me that they thought I was going to deliver early, I knew in my heart that I was going to deliver these boys past 38 weeks, which is considered full term for twins. Considering I was placed on bed rest at week 24, drank excessive amounts of water, had the best husband in the world cooking nutritious meals for me and had no stress in my life, I am not surprised I was able to reach my goal.
The last couple weeks of the pregnancy were the hardest. My feet were swollen to the size of footballs and I had an uncontrollable need to itch them. I was starting to doubt if I could handle more pain and more growing of my super size stomach. We tried walking around the block, eating spicy foods and bouncing on a yoga ball…nothing worked. So along with my doctor, we decided that it was time to be induced. Literally, that next day, we went into the hospital to have our babies.
I woke up after a good night’s sleep and ate a protein filled breakfast. I was prepared for a marathon. After settling into the hospital, our wonderful doctor did an ultrasound. To our dismay, he discovered that baby B, our precious Zachary, had changed positions and was now breached and sunny side up. His Olympic like moves would prove that he would most likely need to come out via C-Section. I only wanted one exit for my twins, so we decided to forgo being induced and go for a C-Section. I truthfully wasn’t that sad about it, because for most of my pregnancy this is what I had thought we were going to do anyways. And a C-section would make sure that both boys would come into the world safely.
The only bummer thing is that I had eaten. With a C-section, you need an empty stomach since it’s major surgery. I was scheduled for a C-section 8 hours later and not allowed to have any food or drink…not even ice! So at about 8 that night, I was prepped for surgery. John got all suited up in his surgery gear and I faced the unknown. I was wheeled into the surgery room, with huge bright lights above and a crew of doctors. Salsa music played in the background and I joked that since I ate so much Mexican food while pregnant, my kids would come out listening to Latin music and speaking Spanish.
The spinal tap was the scariest part, as John was not allowed in the room and I was placing my trust into the hands of an anesthesiologist. My legs quickly started to go numb and soon I couldn’t feel the rest of my body below my head. Being totally out of control was really hard and called into question why anyone would voluntarily do drugs to feel this way. At this point, John was now in the room and things were moving quickly. Even though I couldn’t feel what they were doing, apparently the doctor was opening me up and my children were about to be born. John snapped some pics with my iPhone, thank goodness, because my eyes were shielded from the miracles that were happening at that moment.
Glory be to God, our boys were born at 8:40 and 8:41. Luke Conrad Fox was born a whole minute before Zachary Hudson Fox. Luke weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces and Zach weighed 7 pounds 5 ounces. For twins they were both BIG babies! They had a nearly perfect Apgar score and were born in perfect health. The moment I heard both of them cry, my heart skipped a beat and tears formed in my eyes, for it was one of the best sounds I had every heard. It was the first time I got to hear my sons voices.
Since they were born, I have learned to tandem feed, put them on by myself and even change their diapers while one is still nursing. I have become hogtied to my couch, surrounded with pillows and everything I might need to entertain myself while the boys are nursing. Feeding them has been the easy part, but getting them on some sort of eating/sleeping schedule has been very difficult. Now most of my singleton mommies tell me I am crazy to get the boys on a schedule this early, but if they were not, I would be feeding 24 hours a day and sleeping none. I barely sleep as it is. Some days are harder than others, but when I get frustrated or super tired, I just look down at how simply adorable they are and that they are a tangible answer to prayer. Praise God, for John and I are parents and doubly blessed with twins.
Over the past few weeks I have fallen much more in love with my husband. It is so beautiful to watch him hold our sons, comfort them when I have no energy left and sing them sweet lullabies. John has proven to be such an amazing father and I love how his patient heart wraps them with love. It’s fun to see this side of him, for he is so in love with his growing boys. The boys love him too!
Growth spurts, acid reflux and healing from surgery have been the hardest part of the journey so far. Also finding myself dependent on God’s grace for an extra dosage of patience has brought me to my knees multiple times a day. I am a mother now, in all its joys and sleepless nights. I am truly in the hands of God and depend on Him with every feeding, nap and spit up. I am tired, really tired, more than I ever could have imagined. No book prepared me for getting a few hours a night’s sleep for endless days.
But then I look at my darling Zach, and my heart melts every time. I thank God for my boys, for the miracle of life that grew inside me for 9 months. They are a true reflection of God’s amazing creation and I praise God for it. I love to see their little smiles and their curious glances as they begin to understand the world.
One of the things that I can’t get over is how little these boys really are. I am in awe that I carried both of them inside me and now I get to know them, nourish their little bodies with my milk and watch them grow into little boys. So many of our friends have rallied around us to support us and bring us meals, (we LOVE you people), and I always trip out when I see how big their kids are in comparison to our little boys. The season we are in, parents of newborns, is short lived, for they will be big kids soon and their little feet and ears are going to get big super fast. I hope that in the sleepless days and nights, I can somehow take it all in.
And this last shot is the boys being themselves … cute, adorable and just talking to each other through grunts and punches. Oh boys! In this shot, they are a whopping 2 weeks old.